傾聽的力量
2018-11-12By Jim Mathis
1996年我和太太賣掉了我們的攝影工作室，成為CBMC的全職同工。當時，我的顧問，一位來自英格蘭的律師和法官泰德‧哈伯(Ted Hubbard)給了我們一份五年計劃書。他提出了一些屬靈的建議，建議我在第一年不做任何事，但要傾聽，盡可能多和人見面，聽聽他們心中的想法。
第二年，泰德說，我應該繼續傾聽，但要開始問一些探索性的問題。第三年，他建議我開始整理人們所說過的話。泰德建議我們第四年制定計劃，在第五年開始實行。
對於許多人在職場或商場工作的人來說，這好像是違反直覺的。因為大部分的人都認為：我們必須要「現在」、「馬上」就完成一些事情。但我發現泰德告訴我要做的事情很有智慧：要專心傾聽人們的意見，認真思考他們說了什麼，並且根據他們告訴我的內容制定實施計劃。
我在前三年最常聽到的是人們覺得很孤單，他們想要暫時放下責任或期待，到一個可以放鬆打發時間的地方。他們想要一個與朋友聚會的地方，那裡鼓勵靈性、文化、藝術和音樂等對話。這個聚會場所是社區的中心，也是周邊地區的光源。
這樣的想法促使我和太太在2001年開設了荷馬咖啡館。十七年後這個咖啡館依然很有影響力，很多人都說荷馬咖啡館是歐弗蘭德公園市中心轉變的催化劑，這個地區後來出現了爆炸性的發展，其中大部分是因為人們在咖啡館聚會並討論這個地區未來的希望。
2008年，當我們將荷馬咖啡館移交給另一對夫婦時，我又回到了攝影行業，並再次聽取了泰德關於傾聽的建議。從傾聽，我明白了人們喜歡舊照片，並希望有人保存和恢復舊照片，或是褪色和損壞的照片。所以，我現在大部分的業務都是在修復舊照片。
現在，每當我聽到某些公司僱用新的經理人、總裁或CEO並且希望公司立即改變時，我都會聯想到「傾聽和等待」的過程。其實就算在六個月內沒有重大的改變，因為傾聽和等待，他們可能也會發現自己正在走出困境。有效的領導包括傾聽和關心別人，有人也稱它為「傾聽力」。
以下是聖經中關於傾聽的一些原則，值得我們參考：
保持安靜的藝術。當我們總是忙著說話時，很難去傾聽別人在說甚麼。「多言多語難免有過；禁止嘴唇是有智慧。」 (箴言10章19節)
以正確的速度說話和傾聽 。我們沒有辦法認真傾聽的一個原因是，因為我們注意的是自己接下來要說甚麼。但是當我們花時間積極傾聽時，可能會發現自己想說的其實錯誤百出，或者其實根本不需要說什麼。「我親愛的弟兄們，這是你們所知道的。但你們各人要快快地聽，慢慢地說，慢慢地動怒。」 (雅各書1章19節)。
傾聽的耳朵有二只，說話的嘴卻只有一張 。也許上帝賜給我們兩只耳朵，一張嘴的原因，是因為祂希望我們花費兩倍的時間來傾聽。「能聽的耳，能看的眼，都是耶和華所造的。」（箴言20章12節）。「未曾聽完先回答的，便是他的愚昧和羞辱」（箴言18章13節）。
吉姆.馬提斯在堪薩斯州陸路公園市經營一家照相館。他的專長是商業和影劇界人像。他也經營一所攝影學校。他曾是一家咖啡店的經理，也曾是CBMC在堪薩斯州堪薩斯市和密蘇里州堪薩斯市的執行主任。
分享討論
第一、 在公司草創期，我們可能沒有時間單單就是傾聽客戶的聲音，但是你如何看待在採取行動之前大量傾聽這樣的想法？
第二、 當你決定積極傾聽人們所說的和所想的，你對自己所聽到的內容感到驚訝嗎？如果是，請描述當時的情況。
第三、 你是否同意傾聽和關懷是有效的領導能力？甚至我們可以稱之為「傾聽力」？請說明你的答案。
第四、 你覺得很多領導者不願意接受/投入時間去傾聽那些被指派去領導的人的聲音，真正的原因是甚麼？
如想要閱讀更多關於這個主題的經文，請參考以下內容。
箴言14章29節
14:29 不輕易發怒的，大有聰明；性情暴躁的，大顯愚妄。
箴言15章7、23節
15:7 智慧人的嘴播揚知識；愚昧人的心並不如此。
15:23 口善應對，自覺喜樂；話合其時，何等美好。
箴言16章21、23節
16:21 心中有智慧，必稱為通達人；嘴中的甜言，加增人的學問。
16:23 智慧人的心教訓他的口，又使他的嘴增長學問。
箴言17章4、27、28節
17:4 行惡的，留心聽奸詐之言；說謊的，側耳聽邪惡之語。
17:27 寡少言語的，有知識；性情溫良的，有聰明。
17:28 愚昧人若靜默不言也可算為智慧；閉口不說也可算為聰明。
箴言21章23節
21:23 謹守口與舌的，就保守自己免受災難。
箴言29章20節
29:20 你見言語急躁的人嗎？愚昧人比他更有指望。
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The Power Of 'Listenership'
November 12, 2018By Jim Mathis
When my wife and I sold our custom photo lab in 1996 and joined the staff of CBMC, my adviser, Ted Hubbard, an attorney and judge from England, gave us a five-year plan. He offered some sage advice, recommending I do nothing the first year but listen, meeting with as many people as I could and hearing what was on their hearts.
The second year, Ted said, I should do much of the same but ask some more probing questions. The third year, as he suggested, I was to begin putting together a picture of what people had been saying. The fourth year was the time to start making a plan, Ted advised, and then begin putting the plan into place in the fifth year.
For many of us in the marketplace, this seems counterintuitive. We need to get something done - and right now! But I discovered there also was great wisdom in what Ted Hubbard told me to do, to listen intently to people, seriously consider what they were saying, and then develop a plan of action in response to what they had told me.
What I heard most often those first three years was that people were lonely. They needed somewhere they could simply "hang out," where they had no responsibilities or expectations. They wanted a place to get together with friends where conversations on topics like spirituality, culture, art and music were encouraged. In short, a meeting place that would become the center of a community and serve as a source of light to the surrounding area.
This idea led us to open Homer's Coffee House in 2001. Seventeen years later it is still going strong, and many people say Homer's was a catalyst to the turnaround in downtown Overland Park. The area has seen explosive, positive growth, much of it due to people meeting at the coffeehouse and discussing hopes for the area's future.
In 2008, when we handed off the leadership of Homer's to another couple, I returned to the photography business and again drew on Ted's advice about listening. I learned people loved old photographs and wanted somebody to care for and restore their old, faded and damaged photos. Now most of my business is restoring photographs.
I think of this "listening and waiting" process when I hear of companies hiring new managers, presidents or CEOs and expecting immediate change. Failing to initiate major changes in six months, they may find themselves on the way out. But effective leadership includes listening and caring about people. We might even call it "listeningship."
Here are just a few principles about listening from the Bible that merit our consideration:
The fine art of keeping quiet. It is hard to listen to people when we are always busy talking. "When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise" (Proverbs 10:19).
Speaking, and listening, at the right speeds. One reason we have trouble listening is that we are focusing on what we plan to say next. When we take time to actively listen, we might discover what we intended to say was wrong, or we might not need to say anything at all. "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry" (James 1:19).
Two ears for listening, only one mouth for speaking. Perhaps the reason God gave us two ears, and only one mouth, is because He wants us to spend twice as much time listening as speaking. "Ears that hear and eyes that see - the Lord has made them both" (Proverbs 20:12). "He who answers before listening - that is his folly and shame" (Proverbs 18:13).
Jim Mathis is the owner of a photography studio in Overland Park, Kansas, specializing in executive, commercial and theatrical portraits, and operates a school of photography. He is the author of several books and formerly was a coffee shop manager and executive director of CBMC in Kansas City, Kansas and Kansas City, Missouri.
Reflection/Discussion Question
1. Our enterprises might not provide us with the luxury of simply listening to our customers and clients for the first few years, but what do you think about determining to spend significant time listening before moving into action?
2. Can you think of a time when you determined to actively listen to what people were saying and thinking, and you were surprised by what you heard? If so, describe that situation.
3. Do you agree with the statement that listening and caring are important elements of effective leadership - "listeningship"? Why or why not?
4. Why do you think many leaders seem so reluctant to take/invest time in listening to those they are assigned to lead?
NOTE:
If you have a Bible and would like to read more about this subject, consider the following passages:
Proverbs 14:29, 15:7,23, 16:21,23, 17:4,27,28, 21:23, 29:20
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