「對的話」的力量
2024年11月18日By Robert J. Tamasy
說「對的話」的力量
THE POWER OF SPEAKING THE RIGHT WORDS
我們生活在前所未有的時代。無線電波和網路上，充斥著各種言語。因為有了社交媒體，任何有能力發言的人，都可以發布他們想要呈現的任何資訊、想法和意見。由於現在的電視新聞，是一週七天、每天二十四小時，不間斷播放，因此，評論、詳述每日新聞與事件的內容，就沒有止境。全天候的時間，都被塞滿了聲音，而不是靜默。因此，我們可以說，人類歷史上，從來沒有過這麼多人，對這麼少的事情，發表這麼多的言論。
這樣的結果之一是，人們因為太渴望發言，往往未能停下來，斟酌自己所說的內容。無論是正面還是負面、溫和還是嚴厲，他們張嘴就讓話語飛出來。這讓我想起箴言10章19節的警告：「多言多語難免有過；禁止嘴唇是有智慧。」
即便我們選擇，不被社交媒體的雜亂訊息所吸引，不讓自己暴露在大眾媒體常見的謾罵聲中，但我們仍然無法免疫於言語的力量，無論是好是壞。我們可能成為，草率使用話語的加害者或受害者(或兩者皆是)。
電子郵件是一種出色且快速的溝通方式。但是如果我們不保持謹慎，先仔細檢查，並重新考量所寫的內容，再按下「發送」，我們可能會在事後感到後悔。尤其是當我們在憤怒或情緒激動的時候，所寫下的內容。當我們用手機錄語音留言，或是發送簡訊時，也是這樣。最初聽起來合適的話，可能會在後來引起相當大的困擾。
在21世紀的商業和專業世界中，有效溝通至關重要，但同時也充滿挑戰。以下是一些來自聖經的原則，對我們會有所幫助：
明智地選擇我們的言語。我曾遇到過一些人，他們非常渴望將自己的想法告訴他人，卻無法承受說出這些想法的後果。我必須承認，我自己也曾有過這樣的時候。先好好考量我們打算說的話的影響，可以判斷這些話是有益還是具破壞性。「一句話說得合宜，就如金蘋果在銀網子裡。智慧人的勸戒，在順從的人耳中，好像金耳環和精金的妝飾。」(箴言25章11-12節)
將我們的言語視為建設的工具，而不是破壞的武器。在我們的世界中－以及我們花費大量時間的職場裡－充斥著許多負面的言論，往往包含出於不良意圖，而說出或寫下的言語。我們不必因此參與其中。透過使用能夠提升他人，而非貶低他人的話語，我們可以產生顯著的影響。「污穢的言語一句不可出口，只要隨事說造就人的好話，叫聽見的人得益處。」(以弗所書4章29節)
要抵制傷人的言語。你是否曾經看過一個人，被憤怒或報復性言語針對的樣子？也許你自己有時也曾經歷過這種情況。我們了解傷人言語所帶來的痛苦和不適，因而要努力提供，能夠療癒、鼓舞和激勵他人的話語。「說話浮躁的，如刀刺人；智慧人的舌頭卻為醫人的良藥。」(箴言12章18節)不要成為病態溝通的一份子，要竭力成為治癒的良方。
©2024. Robert J. Tamasy 是企業巔峰：給今日職場從箴言而來永恆的智慧一書的作者。也與導師之心的作者David A. Stoddard 合著Tufting Legacies。編輯多本著作包括Mike Landry. Bob的書：透過苦難成長。
反省與問題討論
第一、你對當前社群媒體和大眾媒體所傳達的訊息，有什麼看法和反應？你所聽到及閱讀的內容，如何影響你在日常生活中的情緒跟態度呢？
第二、經歷強烈情緒時，你會多麼想要發送衝動的訊息給他人？你是否曾經發送過電子郵件、簡訊，或錄下語音留言，事後卻對此感到後悔？你所表達的內容，以及你的表達方式，造成了什麼影響呢？
第三、為什麼有時候很難按照建議去做－在說出或發送訊息之前先暫停一下，仔細考慮我們打算表達的內容－以免來不及挽回損害呢？
第四、言語的力量，可以被如何使用、濫用或誤用？我們使用言語的方式，反映了我們什麼樣的特質，以及我們是什麼樣的人呢？
挑戰思考
本週可能是評估你與他人溝通方式的好時機－不僅是內容，還有你表達想法跟觀點的方式。你是否傾向於衝動行事，立即說出心中的想法？還是你會花必要的時間，斟酌你即將要說的話，以及聽到或閱讀這些話的人會如何接收呢？如果你有值得信賴的朋友或同事，也就是那些關心你最佳利益的人，你可以請他們協助進行這項評估。如果他們願意，你也可以反過來幫助他們。如果你是CBMC的會員，下一次的分會聚會，可能是討論這件事情的好機會。
備註：如果你有聖經，想閱讀更多相關的內容，請參考以下的經文 :
箴言10章20-21節
10:20 義人的舌乃似高銀；惡人的心所值無幾。
10:21 義人的口教養多人；愚昧人因無知而死亡。
箴言12章14節
12:14 人因口所結的果子，必飽得美福；人手所做的，必為自己的報應。
箴言13章3節
13:3 謹守口的，得保生命；大張嘴的，必致敗亡。
箴言15章4節
15:4 溫良的舌是生命樹；乖謬的嘴使人心碎。
傳道書10章12節
10:12 智慧人的口說出恩言；愚昧人的嘴吞滅自己。
馬太福音12章33-37節
12:33 「你們或以為樹好，果子也好；樹壞，果子也壞；因為看果子就可以知道樹。
12:34 毒蛇的種類！你們既是惡人，怎能說出好話來呢？因為心裡所充滿的，口裡就說出來。
12:35 善人從他心裡所存的善就發出善來；惡人從他心裡所存的惡就發出惡來。
12:36 我又告訴你們，凡人所說的閒話，當審判的日子，必要句句供出來；
12:37 因為要憑你的話定你為義，也要憑你的話定你有罪。」
羅馬書15章1-4節
15:1 我們堅固的人應該擔代不堅固人的軟弱，不求自己的喜悅。
15:2 我們各人務要叫鄰舍喜悅，使他得益處，建立德行。
15:3 因為基督也不求自己的喜悅，如經上所記：「辱罵你人的辱罵都落在我身上。」
15:4 從前所寫的聖經都是為教訓我們寫的，叫我們因聖經所生的忍耐和安慰可以得著盼望。
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THE POWER OF SPEAKING THE RIGHT WORDS
MONDAY MANNANov 18, 2024
THE POWER OF SPEAKING THE RIGHT WORDS
By Robert J. Tamasy
We live in unprecedented times. The airwaves are filled with words, as is the Internet. Thanks to social media, anyone with the capacity for talking can post any information, ideas and opinions they choose to present. Because TV news is now 24/7, there is no end to commentary and expositions on the day’s news and events. The round-the-clock hours must be filled with sound, not silence. As a result, we could say that never in the history of humankind has so much been said by so many – about so little.
One consequence of this is that people so eager to speak often fail to pause and consider what they are speaking. Positive or negative, gentle or harsh, they open their mouths and let the words fly out. It reminds me of Proverbs 10:19 which warns, “When there are many words, wrongdoing is unavoidable. But he who restrains his lips is wise.”
But even if we choose not to get caught up in the communications chaos of social media and limit our exposure to the rantings that are so common in the mass media, we still are not immune to the power of words for good or for ill. We can be the perpetrators or victims (or both) of words carelessly used.
Email is a wonderful and rapid way of communicating. But if we do not exercise caution by first reviewing and reconsidering what we have written before hitting “Send,” we might regret it later. Especially if what we write is in a moment of anger or high emotion. The same can be true when leaving voicemail messages or texts on our smartphones. What sounded good and fitting at first may cause considerable distress later.
With effective communicating so essential for the 21st century business and professional world, but at the same time so challenging, here are some principles from the Bible that can be helpful to us:
Choose our words wisely. I have known people who were more than eager to give others a piece of their mind that they could not afford to lose. I must admit to times when I was guilty of that myself. Considering in advance the impact of the words we intend to say can determine whether they will be beneficial or destructive. “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold is a wise man’s rebuke to a listening ear” (Proverbs 25:11-12).
Consider our words as tools for building up, not tearing down. In our world – and the marketplace in which we spend so much of our time – we find so much negativity, often involving words spoken and written with bad intentions. It is not necessary for us to contribute to that. By using words that lift up rather than tear down, we can make a significant difference. “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29).
Counter words that are hurtful. Have you ever watched someone after he or she has been the target of angry or vindictive words? Perhaps you have been one of them at times yourself. Knowing the pain and discomfort that hurtful words can cause, we should strive instead to offer words that heal, encourage and inspire. “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:18). Do not be part of the communications disease. Rather, strive to be part of the cure.
© 2024. Robert J. Tamasy has written Marketplace Ambassadors: CBMC’s Continuing Legacy of Evangelism and Discipleship; Business at Its Best: Timeless Wisdom from Proverbs for Today’s Workplace; Pursuing Life With a Shepherd’s Heart, coauthored with Ken Johnson; and The Heart of Mentoring, coauthored with David A. Stoddard.
Reflection/Discussion Questions
1. What are your thoughts and reactions in general to what is being communicated these days on social media and through the mass media? How does what you hear and read affect your mood and attitudes as you proceed through a typical day?
2. How tempting is it to send impulsive messages to others while experiencing strong emotions? Have you ever sent an email, a text or left a voicemail that you later regretted? What was the impact of what you expressed and the way you expressed it?
3. Why is it sometimes so difficult to do as suggested – to pause and consider what we intend to say before it is said or sent – before it is too late to undo the damage?
4. In what ways can the power of words be used – and abused or misused? What does the way we use words have to say about us and the kinds of people we are?
Challenge for This Week
This week might be a good time to evaluate how you communicate with others – not only the content but also the way you express your thoughts and ideas. Do you tend to be impulsive, immediately speaking what is on your mind, or do you take the time necessary to consider what you are about to say and how it will be received by those who hear or read it?
If you have any trusted friends or colleagues, people you know that have your best interests at heart, you might ask them to help in this evaluation. And if they are open to it, you can help them as well. If you are in a CBMC group, there might be a good opportunity during your next meeting to discuss this.
NOTE:
For more about what the Bible says, consider the following passages:
Proverbs 10:20-21, 12:14, 13:3, 15:4; Ecclesiastes 10:12; Matthew 12:33-37; Romans 15:1-4
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